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标题: 交友这件事儿,再饿也不能吃屎 [打印本页]

作者: yxzhy1102    时间: 27-3-2015 06:56
标题: 交友这件事儿,再饿也不能吃屎

文/TeresaK


在帝都经典原创的雾霾天里,我被来自于平均半年联系一次的前任朋友小Q的微信,掀翻了。她指名道姓,让我把她送我的护肤品,按照市场原价,把钱给她转回去,并且在结尾处注明了“我有急用”这样不容人拒绝和思考的字眼儿以及感叹号,加强语气。

我怒发冲冠,秒删了这位朋友。

基于为人格辩驳的出发点,此次事件回放如下:

半年前,一个伸手不见五指的黑夜,这个连杯凉白开都没请过我的朋友小Q,良心发现的送了我两瓶自称1600一瓶的保湿喷雾,让我试用,帮忙推广给朋友圈的富婆。并且由于产品过于高端,营销必须低调,厂家不详,成分保密,且要买必须30瓶起订……我为难的收下这两瓶手榴弹状的喷雾,丢在抽屉深处,仅供落灰的同时,还请她吃了顿鼎泰丰,以示回礼。还旁敲侧击的告诉她,不要陷入传销机构的陷阱……

半年后,这个猝不及防的微信,瞬间把我踢回理智,这占便宜没够的怂人,不出所料,又来揩我的油了,gun……

然后,就没有然后了……

能动手就不要吵吵,虽然大熊不止一次劝我学习“记者随后以身体不适为由离开了。”这项实用社交技术,但,对付无耻二货的路线,我真的只爱短平快。

不过,这段“踩狗屎”的经历,让我想到了若干次“记得那时年纪小,我奏是一臭傻逼”的系列事件。


大学的时候,我蹲在西安,闺蜜bobo躺在帝都。分离让我痛苦,但bobo因为恋爱,甜在心头。然后,我多了一份职业——职业劝架师。常常bobo一个月杳无音信,直到某个她跟男友打架的夜晚,我的手机才会收到一条短信——“给我打个电话”。我就屁颠的给她打电话,给她男朋友再打,隔空劝架,做了4年虚拟世界的妇联主任。


结果,毕业我来帝都面试,拉得直肠都要掉进马桶的时候,求助bobo,得到的回应却是:“我忙着陪男朋友考六级,没空。”一瓢凉水,兜头盖脸。后来我2b滴问她,我对你好,你为什么不能对我好一点,bobo扣着她的光疗甲说:你要知道,友情是不能图回报的。

我泼光了桌上一杯橙汁,神清气爽的离开案发现场,没买单。

升主管第一年,公司在上海的活动要找供应商,我介绍给大学同窗——大吴。28万的项目,对大吴这个注册资本3万,随时濒临倒闭的会展公司而言,如同久旱甘霖。大吴感激涕零,宣告事成之后一定重谢。事毕,大吴协家眷和两条狗,请我吃了顿烤串,共计花费174元人民币,席间痛诉公司经营不易,只得如此寒酸。我也老泪纵横,连声安慰。

但事情的转折总是突如其来——3天后,大吴媳妇的朋友圈,以“动刺嗒”的节奏,晒出了LV包包、Dior墨镜、omega手表和他们主淫的合照,标配文字:“老公生意顺利,买给我的小礼物,最爱老公么么哒。”

当时,我的血压狂飙到了180。电话大吴:你丫可以不送礼物给我,但是别当我是傻逼行么?本来介绍这活儿,我特么也真不为了钱,朋友一场,至于这么猥琐?还得和你媳妇组团灭我智商!

最后,我以友尽的名义,祝愿大吴一切顺利, 当然,他再也没有和我所在以及相熟的公司合作过。

不再使用暴力表明:我对付贱人的技能大踏步的前进了。


其实,表象背后,我心理没那么潇洒。事发后,我背地里大哭数场,时不时钻牛角尖,想不明白,这事儿我错在哪了,让人家拿我的善良当猴儿耍。

混久江湖后发现,每个人身边都有这样一群人——他们总会拿你的善良当软弱,拿你的心软当砝码,对你占便宜没够,回报没门!兢兢业业做着“友情诈骗犯”。

他们以“黑手伸向朋友”为核心指导原则,鸡鸣狗盗,用尽半生心力,自编自导并参与演出《坑了又坑》的人生大戏。

对这样的人,请拉黑之。唾骂不必,唾液淀粉酶比他们宝贵的多。

曾经有人假扮圣母,谆谆教导我:冤冤相报何时了,原谅胸怀更宽广。我的回答只有一句——GNMLGB。

要知道,对坏人,心存善念,就是最大的作恶。你大妈已经不是你大妈了,凭什么你大爷我还得是你大爷!

偶尔,这些朋友圈的无耻诈骗小贩也会多次表示,愿意不惜一切代价和你再续前缘,但请相信,他们只不过是因为忽略了,随年龄增长,他们的客群日趋萎缩的事实,而再去拓疆开土,广结客源。

对他们来说,狗改不了吃屎。至于我们,再饿也不能吃屎!

(本文选自豆瓣)



作者: daydream    时间: 27-3-2015 12:14
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